“What I find amazing about this thing we do, is that it also seems to open up other doors that you never in a million years thought you'd even touch the handle never mind Enter.”
The above is a sort sentence form a lovely post over at Dee’s ( you can find the whole post here http://dfordesire.blogspot.co.uk/?zx=74cfd2c26475fa5a ).
For me this sums up a lot of the last 2 years and what a rollercoaster ride they have been. I have always enjoyed my life. On the whole i let nothing get to me, if i have a problem i try and solve or get over it. If it is a problem that i have no control over, i put it to one side, why worry about something you have no control over. I also have no preconceptions about others, live and let live. I have never judged others for being different, be what you want to be and do what you want to do, as long as you do not hurt anyone and it is between consenting adults.
As far as i am concerned life is to sort to change who you are or waste time trying to mould others into what you think they should be.
What i am trying to say is i have always done my own thing. I have never worried about what other people have thought of me. As my life in this blog unravels you will see that my attitude has cost me in certain areas, that i have hurt people i love and done things i have not been proud of. But i have had to forge my own path and so you take the consequences along the way and move on.
Coming back to the above sentence the last few years have seen a whole new world open up. I have always been a spanker, it has always turned me on. But for years i did not understand it, i could not get my head around why i had the feelings and from what i was reading why others liked to be punished. I cannot recall how i ended up in the MarQe’s Study but it was a vast array of all the information i craved if you spent time there and delved deep enough and believe me i did. Up to then i had never really heard of blogging in any shape or form let alone a network of spanking bloggers, how exciting is that. So after some thought i decide to go back to the beginning and re-live my memories through a blog. It did not really matter if no one read it, i was getting a lot of enjoyment reading others and putting down in words, my memories, as far as my limited experience in writing allowed. I have found it to be a very friendly place, as soon as i started up i had very warm welcomes from Hermione, Ronnie and Dee. Although i will never be as prolific as these lovely ladies or as thought provoking as Erica i will keep plodding on to the best of my ability.
I had also gone through somewhat of a spanking drought for years and decided i would pay to spank someone. More new experiences. First was someone in the midlands, then a spanking model i had seen for years in a lot of spanking films, on a trip to London. I was completely shocked, i was expecting rough, hardnosed girls with a lets have your money and just get on with it type of attitude. Nothing could be further from the truth, they have all been lovely young ladies that are eager to please and decided to earn a bit more money doing something they enjoyed and there is a lot to be said for that. About 18 months ago i went to see someone else in the midlands. Her photo’s certainly looked good but nothing prepared me for actually meeting her in the flesh. Her main job was modelling and for me she was my perfect little spankette, a petite size 6 with a lovely personality and an insatiable appetite for spanking. Because of her job i had to keep bruising to a minimum so it taught me a certain amount of control which to be honest suited me because i have never been one to inflict as much pain as possible. I got to know her quite well and we became friends. When i was away on business and had an overnight stay i would use a hotel close to where she lived and we would go for a drink and something to eat on the evening before or after a session. Apart from my wife i did not want to spank anyone one else and because of the trust we had built up we met in London a couple of times. I had begun to realise that spanking was in my blood, something i just loved to do. I have always used spanking as foreplay to sex with the person i am with but i had never had any sexual thoughts towards her or any of the girls. I had given her a bedtime spanking and put her to bed, i had spanked strapped and caned her naked on a hotel bed but sex had never crossed my mind. She was a bottom to my top and the friendship we had built up was more important to me.
I also started to dabble a bit in Fetlife and that was a real eye opener. Whatever you are into it is there in abundance. The pictures, the writings and having a general chit chat to any one that wants to talk, i have found very fascinating and indeed stimulating. Also met an old chap that is into CBT (cock and ball torture) been into it all his life and even makes his own devices and tries them on himself. When you’re young and what point do you think to yourself i could really do with putting my balls in a vice. Can’t imagine anything worse myself but i began to realise that he was not a lot different from me. At a young age you knew that you had a certain kink but you thought that you where alone and that no one could possibly have the same feelings. I find it a bit sad that you have to harbour these feelings for years and in his case 50 years before you start to meet others with similar interest. Very interesting chap to talk to and one of the nicest people you could ever wish to meet.
My perfect little spankette is now pursuing a more vanilla career and is in a more stable relationship. Which is exactly what she needed. We still talk from time to time and meet up when i am in her area but no one is happier than me knowing she has that stability and that she has met someone that will give her all she has ever wanted.
Me on the other hand is diving into my kinky side even more and loving it. Most of the above will be elaborated on as my blog is brought up to the present day and as Dee has rightly put it i hope these doors keep opening for me and all you lovely kinky bloggers out there.
Because i like the picture
